what is mediation
Mediation is a dynamic, structure, interactive process where a neutral third party assists disputing parties in resolving conflict through the use of specialized communication techniques.
Mediation can be a way to avoid court proceedings. Bringing another party to court is expensive, time consuming and stressful. By using a mediator, both parties will be given a neutral ear and the benefit of a private, confidential means of coming to an agreement. Mediation can be helpful in most situations, from private family matters to corporate matters. The mediator acts a third party, with the aim of improving communication between the disagreeing parties in order to find a suitable means of settling the dispute.
Mediation as a mens to resolve Divorce
This is a time that you or your spouse are coping with extreme emotional and financial turmoil. During this time, emotions can quickly escalate and become even more challenging when judgement and fear predominate. After a decade of working as a mediator on Cape Cod, you will soon realize that E.C Mediation understands divorce.
Divorce is among the most painful of life events. The adversarial legal process is set up in a way that maximizes fear and often times intensifies the emotional turmoil. Each party is represented by an attorney whose job is to characterize the other spouse as bad, blameworthy and deserving of any additional pain or suffering that he or she can convince the legal system to inflict. "Winning" is often defined strictly in monetary terms. There is very little negotiation thus generating huge legal costs. Each spouse feels alienated, threatened and under attack by someone who knows him or her better than anyone in the world. From that place of derailed perspective, people often do or say whatever it is they have to (or are advised to) do and say in order to protect themselves and/or their assets.
At the end of it all after the judge has made his decision and the lawyers have been paid, there you are, with your ex, having to co-parent.
E.C. Mediation provides a safe environment to discuss and resolve difficult issues. Couples must be willing to stretch outside of their comfort zone for the process to succeed. The most important quality of a mediator is their ability to remain neutral and compassionate.
There are many legal and financial issues involved in a divorce. A mediator's job is not to act as a judge. A mediator does have an obligation to educate the couple as to legal and financial matters. Thus if a couple's comfort level during mediated sessions can be delicately managed - and if this can take place within the context of safety which allows for the expression of difficult emotions - then a mediator has a very good chance of structuring a wide range of financial and (possible child care) arrangements which will be acceptable to both the couple and to the court.